Jay Malone If you’re looking at this page then you were either attempting to buy a car from a guy with the same name as me, or you’re a comedy aficionado and have your “finger on the pulse” of what’s hot in the super hilarious world of semi-obscure stand-up comedy. If it’s the former, I can’t really help you. I don’t know anything about cars, except that when they overheat on the freeway it’s the most terrifying 30 seconds you can experience in a non-middle-eastern country. I know this because my last car was a piece of shit that did it often. I’d just be driving along and BAM! Overheating!! And like a bomb you happen to be buckled onto, you’ve got to get four lanes over to the other side of the freeway before it explodes. It’s like a frightening version of the old arcade game Frogger. Only you get no points for winning, and actual people will scream obscenities at you while you “play”. Anyway, good luck with your car purchase. Seriously, I mean it. If it’s the latter, then allow me to say WELCOME!! You somehow managed to find me. Perhaps you saw me at a club and thought I was funny enough to Google. Or maybe you saw me on TV and thought, I wonder who that guy was…who was on screen for about 30 seconds. Or perhaps you’re a government agent whose job it is to look into possible terrorists and psychopaths, and noticed a flag pop up on your desktop because I ordered a copy of “Catcher in the Rye” and have started taking Muay Thai lessons from a 5′ 5″ former Thai stadium fighter. Well, whatever the reason, have a good look around. I’m going to be updating this website often, ’cause let’s be honest, it’s awesome. And it’s the first one I actually paid someone professional to do. Every other site I’ve ever had I made myself and it blew giant donkey balls through its nose. (What a confusing visual…I apologize.) Anyway, keep checking my LIVE section as I will be updating it pretty much daily with any new gigs that pop up. Also, be sure to buy my album…so I can make tons of money…and buy out the Jay Malone who sells cars. Then you can come to this site for all your hilarity/automotive needs.
